uncertain

Lost

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Today is a tough day. Driving the 13 or so hours from Orlando, Florida back to Louisville, Kentucky, my husband and I have a lot of time to talk and think.

I miss my boys, who are scattered all over – one on the West coast, one on the East coast, and one in India. I am missing ‘home’ in the Northwest. I don’t want to go ‘home’ to Louisville. I don’t even know where to call home anymore. A couple of days ago at Disney World, our waiter asked us, “So, where are you from?” Craig and I just looked at each other, unsure of how to answer that question. It’s a strange feeling. Unsettling.

I’d love to wrap this up with words about growing, learning, trusting your path, being right where God wants us, all steps have led us here, blah blah blah, but not today. All of those things may be true, but I can’t go there today. Some days there is value in sitting in the uncertainty of it all.

“I spent a lot of years trying to outrun or outsmart vulnerability by making things certain and definite, black and white, good and bad. My inability to lean into the discomfort of vulnerability limited the fullness of those important experiences that  are right with uncertainty: Love, belonging, trust, joy, and creativity, to name a few.”  Brene Brown

 

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