Dealing with the Mess

Confessions of a Food Addict Starting the 10-Day Green Smoothie Cleanse

THE DAY BEFORE: Prepping for the 10 Day Green Smoothie Cleanse:

  • Go grocery shopping and buy ingredients for smoothies and snacks as suggested in the book (Click on the book title for more info on the book 10-Day Green Smoothie Cleanse by JJ Smith)
  • Also buy lasagna and bread and ice cream for ‘one last good meal’
  • Eat lasagna for dinner and put away left-overs.
  • Realize that tomorrow you will be in the house alone with leftovers.
  • At 10:30 pm remember that you have a pint of your favorite ice cream in the freezer, and eat it quickly so it won’t tempt you tomorrow.
  • Get nauseated by eating ice cream too fast, put the last 1/4 of the pint in the freezer.
  • Consider wrapping up leftovers and taking them to the neighbors to ask them to guard them from you while you do your cleanse.
  • Too embarrassed to reveal your weakness to the neighbors, devise a plan for the morning to take all food that might be tempting and wrap it in plastic bags, tying it tight, and putting it in the freezer.
  • Consider taking the two partial pints of ice cream and freezing them in a block of ice so they will be that much more difficult to access.
  • Realize the block of ice plan is ridiculous, so back to plan A of wrapping and freezing food items.
  • Set reminders for tomorrow morning to weigh yourself and take a ‘before’ pic of your face so you can see how much less blotchy and bloated you look after the miraculous 10 day cleanse.
  • Decide to spend tomorrow eating all of the food in the house that could be tempting, and then start smoothie cleanse the day after tomorrow.

DAY 1: 10 DAY GREEN SMOOTHIE CLEANSE:

  • Wake up early and lay in bed for one hour, pondering your existence.
  • 0730: Decide that all groceries are here, and if you don’t start today it will be that much harder another day. Decide to go downstairs and put all tempting food into freezer when you make your smoothie.
  • 0745: Step on scale. Go to the bathroom. Step on scale again. Wash face, then step on scale again. Take average of three weights (which are all within ounces of each other).
  • Take mirror selfie as ‘before’ picture, resisting temptation to put on any makeup.
  • Go to the kitchen and gather all ingredients. Arrange them just-so and take picture for Instagram. Blend ingredients per instructions for day one. Take more pics as you go.

smoothie 3 smoothie 2

  • Fill 3 liter pitcher with water for the day.
  • Pour smoothie into glass. Slowly drink. It tastes good.
  • Feel very proud of yourself. You can do this. Don’t worry about putting the food in the freezer, you can do it later.
  • Feel a caffeine headache coming on. Take Excedrin migraine to wean yourself off the caffeine and hopefully avoid the headache. (It contains caffeine but you can avoid the habit of drinking coffee).
  • Boil eggs for snacks, almost burn them (yes, you can burn hard-boiled eggs if you really try).
  • Set out other items for allowed snacks – fruit, unsalted nuts, unsweetened peanut butter.
  • Spend morning drinking lots of water and having an occasional snack. Cut the small brown spots off the egg whites to avoid the charred taste.
  • Record all calories on Fitbit app.
  • Spend much of the morning peeing because of all of the water you’re drinking.
  • Take a nap.
  • Wake up and realize you are hungry. That lasagna in the fridge sure sounds good. Imagine how the lasagna will taste in your mouth.
  • Think about putting food in the freezer, but instead decide to just eat it and then it won’t tempt you anymore.
  • Eat the rest of the lasagna. Remember that there are two partial pints of ice cream in the freezer. You might as well get rid of them, too.

ice cream

  • Justify eating it all now because you’ve heard it’s not good to overeat close to bedtime.
  • Think about how delicious the lasagna and ice cream were. Start to feel bad that you actually ate them, every bite.
  • Sit and wonder what to do next.
  • Consider just starting Day 1 again tomorrow.
  • Feel another headache starting, take another Excedrin.
  • Decide that since there is still 2/3 of a pitcher of green smoothie in the refrigerator, and the tempting food is out of the house, you can just start over RIGHT NOW.
  • Decide not to record all calories eaten today, because the is just too depressing.
  • For the rest of the night, drink the remainder of the green smoothie and drink the rest of the water early so you won’t be peeing all night.
  • Tell your husband about your day of eating, just to keep it real. Be thankful that he loves and supports you no matter what.
  • Write about your shaky start to the 10 Day Green Smoothie Cleanse. Write to let others know that you don’t have to be perfect, and to keep yourself accountable for tomorrow, which is a new day.
  • Disable comments on blog to avoid hearing everyone’s opinions and solutions to your weight loss woes. (And don’t message me, either. Thanks. #SorryNotSorry)

Click here to read about Day Two

And here to see what happens during the rest of the cleanse (and what happens when you take food away from a food addict)

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Lies. Truth. Gratefulness. This Exercise Can Help You Put Anxiety in Its Place

“Mom, I got in a car wreck.”

No one ever wants to get those phone calls or text messages.

My college-aged son was in a wreck last week, and his car was totaled. Thankfully he was not injured. He was rear-ended, but the car is older, and the repairs are going to exceed the worth of the car. The other driver was insured, so he gets money to buy a replacement car, and the other driver’s insurance has supplied him with a rental car. So between work and starting school next week, he is tasked with looking for and buying a car for the first time in his life, and he lives almost 1,000 miles from us. My first instinct is to fly or drive down there to help him – I’m great at research and negotiating. But I also want him empower him to do this on his own. It is stressful, both for us as parents and for him as the one looking for a car. His anxiety is ramping up with each obstacle – the ‘perfect car’ that was already sold when he called to schedule a test drive, issues with getting the check from the insurance money, issues with the bank, and trying to search for a car that is comparable to what he had within his limited price range.

He tends to be an all or nothing type of guy – it’s the best day ever, or the worst day ever. (I have NO IDEA where he learned that. I blame his father.)

Last week I was thinking about all of the exciting changes that have happened over the past year, and of all of the wonderful opportunities ahead of me. I am trying to practice starting my day with mindfulness and focus, but there were just too many thoughts swirling in my head. As the anxiety mounted, I wondered, “What in the heck is wrong with me? Each of these things I’m thinking about are GOOD things: new beginnings, open doors, a chance to start over, amazing opportunities to grow and change. WHY are they causing me such great anxiety?

We are almost a two weeks into the New Year. Maybe you’re the kind of person who sets a list of ten New Year’s resolutions, checks your progress each month, and at the end of the year checks off all that you have accomplished. New Year, New Me, and you mean it. Each year you set goals and at the end of the year you feel a great sense of accomplishment at your success and growth.

Good for you. *Cue slow clap.

I am more along the lines of New Year, Same Me. I used to be big on resolutions, but I have downgraded to just choosing one word for the year as a theme.This year I haven’t even thought of a word.

This past year has been full of new beginnings and great change. Our three adult sons are all living on their own, and one has moved to India. We moved from the Pacific Northwest, where I was born and raised, to Louisville, Kentucky for my husband’s job. My husband went from being a state employee to running a nonprofit. I quit my job as a hospice nurse when we moved, and after a short stint as a night shift nurse (I quickly found out I’m no longer cut out for night shift), I am currently unemployed, by choice. And I am finding that sometimes a blank slate is disconcerting. So after about a week of this anxiety slowing building and finally causing a slight freak out and melt down, I did something I should have done from the beginning.

I spent the morning journaling and praying. Why is it that in the midst of anxiety and chaos, we often forget to start at the basics? If you’re a praying person, why do we wait before we consult with the God of the universe? It seems like a no-brainer, but we just trudge along, on our own, and wonder why we feel so disconnected. 

Until we remember to connect. 

Writing in a journal has always helped me to process, I just need to commit to sitting down and doing it. 

There is truly something magical about writing down your thoughts and seeing them in black and white, on paper. 

I was so perplexed that how all of these things that should be causing me joy and peace could actually be causing me so much anxiety. So I wrote down each thing that was distressing me: not having to work, exercising and getting healthy, setting boundaries, my friend making healthy choices in different areas of her life, opportunities to travel, change in finances with my husband’s new job, writing, our new home, my husband’s new job, etc. You get the idea.

Then I did an exercise that totally changed my perspective.

Lies. Truth. Gratefulness.

After I wrote down each situation, one by one, I wrote this:

The lie I believe is:  A lie often includes words like Always, Never, Everyone. “This always happens to me.” “I will never get this solved.” “Everyone always treats me like this.”

The truth is: The truth is the REALITY of the situation. Step outside of your situation and try to be objective.

I am grateful because: In every situation, there is SOMETHING to be grateful for.

If you are too overwhelmed and can’t discern the lies and truth of the situation, ask a friend to help. Sometimes someone else’s perspective will see thing that we can’t because we’re so close.

Here is how the exercise works, I’ll share some examples, straight from my journal, my heart to yours:

ANXIETY ABOUT NOT WORKING
LIE: My worth/value are in my job as a nurse. If I’m not contributing to income, I am worth less than my spouse.
TRUTH: My value is in who I am, not what I do as a job. I am complete in Christ. 
GRATEFULNESS: I am grateful for a partner who is supportive of my not working at this time. 

GETTING HEALTHY
LIE: I can’t do it. I’ve tried and failed over and over. I will never succeed. I will always be lazy. 
TRUTH: I have been lazy but I can make different choices. Never before have I had the time and resources to focus solely on getting healthy. 
GRATEFULNESS: I am grateful for a supportive and understanding spouse who does not shame me. 

SETTING BOUNDARIES
LIE: When I set boundaries, I am mean. I shouldn’t rock the boat. I should try to keep the peace, and if I have upset it, I should try to fix it even if it means not keeping the boundaries I set. 
TRUTH: It is not wrong to set healthy boundaries. I am not mean to set boundaries. Setting boundaries is a loving thing to do for myself and for others. To have healthy relationships, one must have healthy boundaries. Unhealthy people are made uncomfortable by healthy boundaries, but that is their issue. 
GRATEFULNESS: I am grateful for a partner who understands and supports me, and for friends and family members who are working at being healthy in their relationships.

MY FRIEND’S HEALTHY CHOICES: 
LIE: My friend’s growth threatens our relationship. If she grows then she will judge where I am at and no longer accept me. 
TRUTH: I am happy for my friend’s growth and healing. Becoming physically, emotionally, and spiritual healthy is a good thing. My friend loves me and won’t judge me. As my friend becomes more healthy, it will also serve to make our friendship more healthy. 
GRATEFULNESS: I love my friend and am grateful to have someone with whom I can share my heart, who inspires me by her brave spirit and willingness to do the hard work of change and growth. 

Here is how this exercise might look for my son as he is stressed about having to buy a car:

BUYING A CAR
LIE: I’ll never find a car. There are no options. I can’t do this on my own. This is the most horrible thing that has happened.
TRUTH:It sucks that I don’t have access to the money right this second,  but I will have the money available Monday so I can buy a car. I can look at cars now and explain my situation. If I find a car, I can ask if they will hold it until the insurance check goes through.
GRATEFULNESS: I am grateful that I have had a car to drive the past couple of years. I am thankful that I was not injured. I am grateful that the accident was not my fault and that I will have money to get a replacement. I am grateful that I am learning survival tools that will help me later in life.

I hope you found this helpful. If you decide to try this exercise, I would love to hear from you! Please send me your examples by using the form below, or email me at kkmeador@gmail.com with the subject line LIES TRUTH GRATEFULNESS

Tomorrow

Tomorrow

What do we do when the world breaks our hearts?
When violence and hate, terrorists and their tools, ignorance and apathy seem to prevail?
We want to turn away, to hide our faces and shield our hearts.
We want to scream and strike and get our vengeance.

What do we do when the world breaks our hearts?
We wish we didn’t have to listen, to hear about it, to read about it.
We wish we didn’t have to see the pictures flash across our screen.
But we can’t turn away. It’s everywhere, and it begs us to see and hear.

What do we do when the world breaks out hearts?
We change our profile pictures in solidarity, and that is good.
We post a meme with a comforting cliché or Bible verse, because we need to find a sliver of hope.
We say, “Did you hear about such and such, isn’t that heartbreaking?” and we all agree, yes, it is.

What do we do when the world breaks our hearts?
We read, we see, we talk, we feel. And sometimes we turn away.
We grieve, we feel, we look at our corner of the world.
And we want to change things. We ponder how.

What can we do when the world breaks our hearts? Because the world will break our hearts again tomorrow.
We can love the unlovable.
We can speak the unspoken.
We show up.

~Kristin Meador

 

I Am From

I am from shag carpet and popcorn ceilings
From lavender walls and neon posters
A living room portrait of Jesus who sees all

I am from roast beef and green beans
From rhubarb pie, always with ice cream
Late night popcorn by the light of the tv

I am from clamp on roller skates
From a string of lights on the garage floor stage
Road trips and Disneyland

I am from a safe lap to curl up in
From Jesus died for your sins
I am from you should be a singer, a writer

I am from doesn’t live up to her potential
talks too much in class
I am from sit still, stop that, Kristin Kathleen

I am from I wouldn’t have to hurt you if you weren’t so . . .

From if you can’t forgive me, something must be wrong with your heart.

I am from Jesus loves me, this I know.

*this is from a writing exercise given by Allison Vesterfeldt, based on the poem “Where I’m From” by George Ella Lyon

Resources for Finding Your Dream/Passion/Meaning and Living a Better Story

Here are some resources that might be helpful: (I will be adding to this list as I find more resources) Please feel free to add your resources in the comments below.

Books:

Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl    THIS has been my favorite find while doing this series. I LOVE this book. And bonus find – I found this on youtube in an audio version. I don’t know how long this will be posted, but here is the link.

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: How I Learned to Live a Better Story by Donald Miller

The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results by Gary Keller

Youtube:

Living a Great Story – sermon by Don Miller

Articles:

What Makes a Meaningful Life by Donald Miller

Blogs:

Storyline

TED talks:

Conferences:

Storyline Conference Coming up! November 5-7 , 2015 Chicago