Somedays I Hate Everything

I’m in one of those “I hate everything” moods.

(I know, hate is a strong word, and some people really dislike when I use it. Deal with it.)

It happens every so often. People are annoying, circumstances are unsatisfactory, hurt feelings are amplified, disappointments abound, and life is just not the story I want it to be.

I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I’m a person who feels deeply. Maybe sometimes the pain of what’s happening in the world is overwhelming. Maybe it’s because I only got two hours of sleep last night.

Somtimes I just really want to be whiney and complainey. I want to say “I hate everyone” and just disappear from the world for a bit. I want to be bitter over the people who have let me down. I want to blame others for, well, everything that is wrong in my life. I want to see those who have hurt me fail and trip up. I want to blame my unsatisfactory situation on anyone other than myself.

Isnt this a lovely picture? Whiney and complainey make a boring story, don’t you think?

So when I’m in an “I hate everything” mood, I need to remind myself of these things:

  1. It’s a signpost that I could be heading into a depression if I don’t counter the negative self talk.
  2. It’s okay to feel hurt or disappointed. We live in a world with imperfect humans, and no one is perfect. We are going to be let down, and how we deal with that is part of what determines what kind of story we’re living.
  3. Acknowledge the desire to be whiney and complainey, but don’t set up camp there.
  4. Resist the urge to blame others. I want to look for a reason why my life sucks in this little minute. It can’t be me, so it must be you, right?
  5. Don’t beat up on myself. If it’s not you, it must be that I’m just a holy mess. Nope, don’t buy it. Deal with it for what it is – fleeting anxiety, boredom, loneliness, poor diet, lack of sleep, legitimate hurt feelings, whatever. I am not my feelings.
  6. What is the NEXT RIGHT THING? If I’m overwhelmed because I’m not living a better story, I don’t need to come up with a one year, five year, ten year plan. I just need to ask: what is the NEXT right thing?  What do I need to do in the next 10 minutes? And the next?

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